Unknown

Unknown!

At the edge of my heart
I know there is good in me,
But the pull towards misery
Is more then I can fight.
Pain is my brother
And suffering my sister,
Together for ten years
We are inseparable.
One leans on the other
And we limp onward
To a future unknown.

Every thought I own,
All goodness in my life
Is tainted by affliction
Unworthy am I
To know happiness.

Wicked is my mind
That is should house
Such a beast as her.
Poisoned are my thoughts
That I should let her
Become part of me.
The immortal brute,
Created for comfort
Became her own master
And changed into
Eternal anguish.

Years of therapists
Still cannot purge
The want of pain
From my system
Nor the creature
That lives inside
And torments my day.

No one understands
And tears are all I have
Who would have thought
It all could have started
At a Catholic school?
Instead of friends
There was only harassment
And internal strife.

For years I suffered,
And it will last a life time.
There is no undoing the pain
They inflicted on me.
Now all I can accept
Is suffering in my life,
No happiness is aloud,
And if it were to come
It would soon be lost
In thoughts of its demise.

When it becomes to much to bare
There is oly one choice,
To rid myself of the torment.
Throns prick my skin
And pills kill the pain
Until death comes
And takes away the agony

Unknown